I play the “What If” game too much. You know the game….the one you play in your head too. Don’t deny it, we all do it. Some of us more than others, but we’re all guilty members of this not so wonderful club.
When life gets stressful, I start playing. I don’t mean to. I know better. But alas, life is stressful and my mind starts wandering into the realm of “what if?”
What if I had thought of this sooner?
What is I was better at taking care of my kids?
What if all this work is in vain?
What if no one reads what I write?
What if my kids don’t behave with _____?
What if this work opportunity doesn’t pan out?
What if the bonus doesn’t come in time?
What if the medical test doesn’t say what I want to hear?
What if I share my heart and it gets broken?
What if, what if, what if????
It’s enough to drive a girl mad.
The truth, if I can be so honest, I start playing “What If?” when my faith starts faltering. When I’m in the middle of a season and I haven’t seen the fruit yet. When the work feels scary and my heart starts to construct walls of protection. When I feel those moments of doubt….wondering If God is still paying attention to my crazy saga down here.
It’s sheer madness, I know. God’s never let me down, He’s never left me alone, He’s always come through. I know this, yet still the game plays on in my mind, like a broken record someone forgot to turn off.
The game began tonight as stress arose, and my heart started to flutter in fear. But tonight I caught myself before I moved too many game pieces. Tonight, I’m rewriting the rules of the game. Tonight I am going to win.
What if I just let it all go and let God do His thing?
What if I prepare and just expect God to show up?
What if I pray and not worry?
What if I just sleep and trust in His goodness?
It would be fitting the sermon in church today was from Paul’s letter to the church of Philippi. The verse is marked in multiple colors in my Bible….I must need the constant reminder….
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to COMPLETION until the day of Christ Jesus.