The weather turned cool this morning. For this Florida girl it was a glorious delight to open the door on the way out of the house and feel the greeting of the cool breeze. I hadn’t realized how hot and weary my soul felt until the crisp morning jolted me.
In January of this year God spoke passionately to my soul. Desires and dreams and plans so astounding that the whispers He shared with me took me to a different level of faith and intimacy. The following months of life reaped blessing upon blessing as I began climbing toward these dreams. As I saw these “fingerprints” of His work around my life my soul longed for His presence and His word to me. Then the blessings took on challenges and the challenges became struggles and as life got busy with muck and mire I began to drone out the voice of God with the voice of everything else. And over the last few weeks my soul has ached for more, and every desire to return to the sweet stillness of solitude with Him was interrupted with some important task.
That’s the double edged sword of intimacy. Once you have it, you know when you don’t have it, and you want it.
The crisp air of morning, with the scent of the leaves and the hint of sunshine through the trees, spoke to my soul as He whispered gentle reminders to keep my eyes on Him. Because as He is ever teaching me, the waiting for the harvest requires work.
Lots and lots of work.
I want to much for my dreams and visions to be instant. To have the call of a mission and then reap the benefits…..but that’s not the process. It’s often a slow, and painfully arduous process. The sowing of the harvest.
Tedious is the waiting.
It’s in the waiting of the harvest when I often lose focus. When I can’t see the spout come forth. When the watering and fertilizing feels pointless. When sunshine and rain come but no sprout. It’s here where I struggle. I wonder if I did the work well? Did I hear Him correctly? Did I get it right?
It in the waiting that I want to quit. To try something new, to see if some new adventure will excite my heart. It’s here in the waiting that I have been struggling. I know the truths, and I know the promises…..but it doesn’t make the waiting less work.
Because in the season of planting, I feel the excitement of the work. In the season of harvest, I see and experience the joy of the work. But the season of waiting….well that’s just work.
So I’m working in my waiting.
Working on keeping my eyes of Jesus.
Working on being faithful to His call.
Working on trusting the harvest.
Working on meeting the needs He places in my path.
Working on searching for His voice in the whispers.
Working on the worship of the One who is worthy.
Working on my part, while God does His part.